Starring
Pete Duel and Ben Murphy as
Hannibal Heyes and Kid Curry
Guest Starring
Burl Ives as
Big Mac McCreedy
Ceasar Ramero as
Nestor Armendariz
Katy Juardo as
Carlotta McCreedy
Carmen Miranda as
Juanita Gomez The Things We Do for Love
by Kathy Knudsen
“Heyes, tell me again the reason we're takin' a job from Big Mac McCreedy,” Kid Curry grumbled as he and his partner rode slowly southward through the dry Arizona terrain of sunbaked sand and giant vertical rock formations. Each man held a loose grip on his reins and the Kid rested crossed arms on the horn of his saddle.
“I can give you five hundred reasons and each one has a dollar sign attached to it,” Heyes replied.
Curry pushed off the saddle horn and sat up straight. With a stubborn look on his face, he was ready and willing to argue against taking another job for Big Mac. “But not once, Heyes, I repeat, not once, has a job we've done for him gone well or ended up in our favor... and I might add, every job we've done for McCreedy has left us bruised or put our lives in danger.”
“It ain't gonna be like that this time,” Heyes assured his partner. “For one thing, Armendariz owns that bust free and clear, so this job ain't even gonna involve that beat up old piece of marble.”
“Well, that's one thing in his favor. You got another thing to offer?”
Heyes sighed heavily. “Five hundred dollars,” he repeated.
The Kid pulled his hat from his head to wipe the sweat from his brow. “Maybe Mac's had second thoughts about that bust and the feud is back in full swing? You ever think of that?” He plopped his hat back on his head and adjusted it to keep the hot sun away from his eyes.
Riding a few feet ahead of his partner, Heyes rolled his eyes and frowned. “As a matter of fact, I have thought of that, and even if it's true and there's some feud going on again, that don't mean we gotta get involved.”
The Kid uttered a sarcastic laugh. “Big Mac and Armendariz is feudin' and McCreedy hires us for a job, and you think we ain't gonna get shoved into the middle of it?”
“We don't know that they're feuding, and we don't know the job has anything to do with Armendariz,” Heyes answered, a ring of frustration in his voice. “Don't go making wild assumptions that you can't back up.”
It was the Kid's turn to sigh heavily. “How much further to Red Rock?”
“I figure we should get there sometime tomorrow afternoon.” Heyes paused as he considered Curry's concerns. “Kid, once we hear what Big Mac has in mind, if either of us don't like it, we'll say no to his offer.”
”Uh-huh. Remember, I'm your partner, and that silver tongue don't work with me. I know that all your talk, it just means you're gonna try to negotiate a higher wage. It don't mean for a minute that we'll say no to Big Mac McCreedy. In case you don't remember, the last time he wanted us to get that over-sized chess piece back, we both said no, and I ended up dancin' for my supper everyday and almost gettin’ killed, I might add.”.
“You're being awful proddy – you know that, don't you?”
“Yep. I tend to get that way when I know the other boot's about to fall.”
0-0-0-0-0
Riding into Red Rock the following afternoon, Heyes and the Kid brought their horses to a stop outside the hotel. They climbed out of their saddles and tethered the reins to the hitching post, then gathered their saddlebags and bedrolls and proceeded slowly and stiffly into the hotel and up to the desk.
“One room, two beds,” Heyes told the hotel clerk as he swiveled the registration book around and dipped the pen in the inkwell to sign his name.
“And a couple of baths,” the Kid added, taking the pen from his partner and signing his name as well.
“Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones,” the clerk read the names added to the book. “There's an envelope here waiting for you from Mr. McCreedy.”
Curry snatched the envelope from the clerk's hand before Heyes had a chance to take it. He quickly folded it in half and stuffed it into his back pocket. “Big Mac don't waste no time, does he?” He turned and headed for the stairs.
Heyes picked up the room key, grabbed his gear and followed his partner up the stairs as quickly as his saddle-sore legs would allow. “Alright, what's in the envelope?” he asked as soon as they were inside their room with the door closed.
The Kid pulled the envelope from his pocket and sat down on his bed to open it. “There's a note from Mac and another sealed envelope addressed to...” His eyes widened. “Heyes, it's addressed to Nestor Armendariz! This job might not involve the bust, but it does involve a feud and an unwelcome trip to Mexico.”
“Read the note,” Heyes urged his partner.
Curry unfolded the note. “Unfortunately, I am out of town at the moment and it is urgent that the enclosed envelope be delivered to Armendariz immediately,” he read aloud and shook his head in disgust. “Don't Big Mac know there's mail delivery to Mexico?”
“He must have a reason for wanting it delivered by hand. Is there more to the note?”
“There's a PS,” the Kid replied, then continued reading. “P.S. Carlotta got herself all worked up in one of those moods women get themselves into and she left me three weeks ago. I can only assume she returned to her brother's hacienda. I want a full report on how she is and what she's thinking. Come directly to the ranch when you return. Signed Big Mac.” Curry crumpled the paper and tossed it on his bed. “He wants us playin' match-maker again,” he said with a sigh.
Heyes walked over to his partner's bed, picked up the note and began smoothing out the wrinkles. “I have to admit it does sound that way. I wish there was a way to find out what's in that envelope. I like to know what kind of danger we're walking into.”
“We're walkin' into? It don't take two of us to deliver a piece of mail.”
“Then, by rights, it should be you delivering it, Kid.”
“Me!? Why me? You're the one who can talk his way outta a bear's belly.”
“And you're the one who can shoot his way out,” the smooth-talker countered.
“Heyes, if you recall, the last time we was at that hacienda, Armendariz threatened to kill the both of us, and it was your silver tongue that got us outta that situation.”
“Then the only fair thing would be for the both of us to go. If my talking don't do the trick, then maybe your gun will.”
“The minute we get through those gates, the guards will be takin' our guns. I'll go, but it might be best for me to stay outside them walls so later, when he's got you locked in a room, and has a plan to put an end to your sorry life, I can sneak in and rescue you.”
Heyes nodded. “Nice to hear you've already got a plan, Kid. Now, maybe between here and Mexico, we'll actually come up with a good one. In the meantime, how about a cold beer?”
“Now that's the only good idea you've had all day,” the Kid grinned.
0-0-0-0-0
The following morning, they set out again, this time on the fifty-mile trip to the hacienda of Nestor Armendariz. Being in no rush, they let the horses determine the pace at which they traveled. When they reached the first of three wooden posts, each with a crudely painted wooden board nailed to it declaring no trespassing was allowed, the Kid pulled his stocky chestnut to a stop.
“Last chance to reconsider, Heyes.”
Pulling his sorrel up next to his partner, Heyes pulled off his hat and used the back of his sleeve to wipe the sweat from his brow. “Big Mac didn't say we had to wait for an answer. All we have to do is drop off the letter and make a simple inquiry about Carlotta. Then we turn around and head back to Red Rock.”
Curry smiled while shaking his head. “You make it sound easy enough alright, but you know as well as I do it ain't gonna be that simple. Armendariz don't like us showin' up cause it always means Big Mac's got some sorta scheme in his head.”
“Now Kid, you're always looking at the dark side of things. Armendariz don't have no issues with us.”
“Oh noooo. Of course not. Why would he take issue with a couple of outlaws who repeatedly ignore his no trespassin' signs just to do the biddin' of his arch enemy and cowardly brother-in-law? You're absolutely right, Heyes. This'll be a piece of cake.”
Heyes uttered a heavy sigh. “You still got the letter in your pocket?”
“Uh-huh,” the Kid replied while tapping his hand against his shirt pocket.
“Then come on. We've only got another five or six miles till the guards surround us.”
“Don't you mean swoop down around us like vultures to a corpse?” the Kid countered wryly.
Heyes ignored the comment and urged his horse forward, but Curry sat still for a good half minute and let his partner put some distance between them. “For once Heyes, I hope you know what you're doin',” he muttered, then spurred his horse forward.
True to prediction, and just six miles from their last stop, Curry and Heyes pulled their horses to abrupt stops and raised their arms in the air when six of Armendariz's guards surrounded them with guns drawn. Two of the guards quickly freed Heyes and Curry of their weapons.
“Como estas?” a guard shouted.
“We are Señores Smith and Jones,” Heyes called back. “We are friends – amigos – of Señor Armendariz.”
“Cual es tu proposito?”
“What did he say?” Curry asked.
“I have no idea.” Heyes shrugged. “Tenemos una carta para Señor Armendariz.”
The Kid jerked his head and turned to stare at his partner with a very confused look on his face. “What did you just say?”
“I told them we have a letter for Armendariz.”
“Where and when did you learn Spanish?”
“An old Mexican in the saloon last night. I asked him how to say that one sentence. I thought it might be helpful.”
“Ven con nosotros. Un movimiento en falso y estas muerto.”
“Now what did he say?” Curry asked.
“I still have no idea, but it doesn't sound inviting, and I think muerto means death.”
“So, everything's goin' accordin' to plan,” the Kid muttered.
0-0-0-0-0
Escorted by the half dozen armed guards, Heyes and Curry watched the iron gates of the hacienda open, allowing all eight riders to enter the massive courtyard. They dismounted and the two captives were roughly pushed and prodded across the courtyard, then up the staircase to the second floor. There, in a room that had become far too familiar to them, Armendariz stood behind the small bar, pouring himself a brandy.
He looked up briefly as the guards brought Heyes and the Kid to an abrupt halt in the center of the room. His expression was stern. “Gentlemen, I've been expecting you,” he said as he set the decanter down on the counter.
“You have?” Heyes arched a brow.
Armendariz walked out from behind the bar with the brandy snifter in his left hand. “Don't misinterpret my words, gentlemen. It is not a cordial expectation... My sister chose to come here because she knew her husband was too much of a coward to follow, and I knew he would find someone naive enough to do his bidding.”
“I think that's one point we can all agree upon.” Curry turned to glare at his partner.
“I'm afraid once again that your decision to come here was pointless. Carlotta wants nothing more to do with Señor McCreedy. She will soon be filing for a very expensive divorce.”
“Señor Armendariz, me and Thaddeus are only here to deliver a letter.” Heyes gave his partner a sharp poke with his elbow, prompting Curry to reach into his pocket for the envelope.
The Kid's hand cautiously rose toward his pocket, but froze in midair when all six guards cocked the guns they held pointed directly at both Heyes and Curry. “You wanna tell 'em I'm just followin' your directions?” he asked while keeping his eyes focused on the gun barrels.
Armendariz signaled his men to holster their weapons and the Kid slowly pulled the envelope from his pocket and offered it to Armendariz.
Armendariz ignored the gesture and instead began to slowly pace the floor in front of the two Americans. “Perhaps my accented English presents as a language barrier to the two of you, as you seem to be having some difficulty comprehending my words. You may leave the envelope or take it with you. Either way it will remain unopened as neither Carlotta nor I have any interest in its contents.”
“Señor Armendariz,” Heyes began, but was quickly interrupted.
“You may leave now peacefully, or you may stay and I will have you both incarcerated in a Mexican jail for trespassing. The choice is yours, gentlemen, but the decision must be made now.”
Heyes and the Kid exchanged a brief glance.
“We'll go peacefully,” Curry answered. “Come on, Joshua.”
“Wait!” Heyes spoke with some urgency in his voice. “Señor Armendariz, me and Thaddeus haven't actually even spoken to Big Mac...”
“Oh? What does he do, howl at the moon like a wolf in heat and the two of you come running?”
“No, he's a... he's out of town at the moment. What I'm trying to tell you is that neither one of us knows anything about what happened between Big Mac and your sister. Would you at least tell us why Carlotta chose to leave Big Mac?” Heyes asked.
“Infidelidad!” Armendariz snapped scornfully.
“Infidelity?” Heyes' brow arched. “Big Mac?!”
“That's impossible. No respectable woman is gonna look twice at Big Mac,” the Kid declared, and Armendariz shot him a menacing glare. “Besides, he's Catholic!” he added, hoping to appease their host.
“I don't care if he is the archbishop himself!” Armendariz thundered. “He broke his marriage vows to Carlotta!”
“Señor Armendariz,” Heyes quickly intervened. “Thaddeus didn't mean that the way it sounded. He meant that as an insult to McCreedy, not to your lovely sister, Carlotta.”
Curry quickly nodded. “Every word, just like he said. I think it's safe to say we all know Big Mac ain't worthy of your lovely sister.”
“Thaddeus and me appreciate the cordial hospitality you have always shown the both of us, and of course we would not expect you or Carlotta to be forgiving if Big Mac really has done what you say he has but... Well, does Carlotta truly know for a fact that he was unfaithful?” Heyes asked.
“You dare to question my sister's judgment!?” Armendariz glared at them accusingly.
“No!” both Heyes and the Kid replied in unison.
“It's just that... well, sometimes matters such as these can be... misconstrued,” Heyes explained. “Big Mac is a lot of things, most of which aren't good, but an adulterer? Well, that's just a might hard to fathom.”
“Gentlemen, and I use that term loosely,” Armendariz continued sternly. “Matters of matrimony are not open for idle discussion among third parties, and my sister is not one to misconstrue a situation such as this. Now, as your host, I must warn you that your option for leaving is growing questionable.”
“We're leaving,” Heyes promised. “But, perhaps if you would permit us to speak to Carlotta first?”
“You are having trouble with the language barrier again!?” Armendariz snarled. “Because if you are, I can order my men to demonstrate my meaning for you.”
“No, we understand every word and we're goin',” the Kid assured him and, after dropping the envelope on a nearby table, he took his partner by the arm and pulled him toward the door.
But the departure was not hasty enough to suit Armendariz; he again signaled the guards. Heyes and Curry were poked in the back by gun barrels and quickly ushered back down to the courtyard, where they were given their guns just before they mounted their horses. They hurried through the gates, then kicked their horses into a fast gallop.
“You see, Heyes? I was right. Didn't I say we'd be playin' matchmaker?” The Kid grumbled when they finally slowed their horses to a comfortable cantor.
“No, you said this was gonna be about the bust. The idea of matchmaking came later.”
“But it still came from me! Now I say we head back to Red Rock, check outta the hotel and get as far away from Big Mac as fast as we possibly can.”
“And we'll do just that, Kid. Right after we collect our five hundred dollars.”
“After we collect? May I remind you that Armendariz refused to even open that letter
and made it quite clear he ain't gonna read it! You know McCreedy's gonna argue that we didn't complete our end of the bargain.”
“True on both counts, but Big Mac didn't stipulate that Armendariz had to read the letter, only that we had to deliver it and report back to him.”
“Report back with news about Carlotta. We didn't even see her, let alone speak to her. You think Mac's gonna pay us for half a job? If he does, that'll be a first!”
“I think he'll not only pay us for the whole job, but he'll thank us for just how meticulous we were,” Heyes retorted, sounding especially confident.
“Meticu-what?” Curry's brow furrowed.
“Meticulous. It means thorough.”
“How do you figure that we were thorough?”
“Well, from what Mac told us in that note, he doesn't have a clue why Carlotta up and walked out on him.”
“And findin' out it was because of his infidelity, he's gonna open his wallet and dole out the money? Fat chance.”
“Well Kid, I think we were right when we told Armendariz there wasn't a chance in hell that Big Mac was with another woman.”
“Yeah, but how is that gonna help us collect our money?”
“I haven't figured that out yet,” Heyes confessed. “But if you'll just shut up for a while, I’ll have that figured out by the time we're talking to Big Mac face to face.”
0-0-0-0-0
Arriving at the McCreedy ranch, Heyes and the Kid had no sooner reached the hitching post and climbed off their horses when Patrick McCreedy walked out the front door. He stood at the edge of the porch with his arms folded about his chest.
“Been expecting you half the day! What in the world took you so long?” Big Mac called out to them as they tied their reins to the post and exchanged dubious glances.
“Armendariz is what took us so long,” the Kid announced while he and his partner approached the house and stood at the foot of the stairs.
“Well don't just stand there. Come into the house and tell me all about it.” McCreedy turned and headed inside without bothering to hold the door.
Heyes and Curry followed him into the study where McCreedy poured them all a shot of whiskey.
“So, is the misunderstanding all cleared up? What did Armendariz say to my proposition?”
Heyes and the Kid glanced at each other with some uncertainty.
“You call all that a misunderstanding?” Heyes asked.
“What exactly was your proposition?” Curry added as he took the offered whiskey.
“Are you trying to tell me that Armendariz didn't give you an answer?” Big Mac withdrew the glass he had extended to Heyes.
“Mac, did Carlotta give you even a clue as to why she left?” Heyes asked and reached out and took the glass from McCreedy's hand.
“I told you, she just got all worked up into one of them moody spells women are so prone to. They don't tell you what they're being moody about. They expect you to know.”
“I see.” Heyes downed his whiskey in one gulp.
“What did you see? What did Armendariz tell you?” Big Mac pressed.
“Nothin' Mac. The fact is, he didn't even open the letter,” the Kid confessed.
“Then what are you boys doing back here? The instructions were for you to wait for him to read the letter and give you a reply. You can't expect to be paid for a job not done properly.”
“That wasn't an option.” Heyes shook his head. “Mac, think hard. Was Carlotta upset about something specific?”
“Did you say or do somethin' to get her riled?” Curry prodded.
“You've met Carlotta. Everything riles that woman. Early on I found that charming, but after a while it wears thin on the nerves.”
“A stark contrast to your benevolent, patient disposition,” the Kid huffed. “Come on, Mac; you could rile a possum playin' dead in the road!”
“I'm telling you boys I didn't say nothing to her to put her in that disposition!” McCreedy insisted.
“Maybe you didn't say nothing. Maybe it was something you did... Mac, are you seeing another woman?” Heyes asked straight out.
Mac's jaw dropped, as did the Kid's, and both looked at Heyes with an expression of disbelief.
“Nothin' like takin' the bull by the horns and callin' him out! Is that the only idea you could come up with?” Kid muttered while Big Mac bellowed over Curry's words.
“Where did you hear that!?” Mac blustered.
“Is it true?” Heyes insisted, ignoring both the Kid's and Big Mac's reaction.
“Well I...” Big Mac stammered. “Is that what Carlotta thinks?”
“It's what Armendariz thinks, and that's probably a bigger problem than what Carlotta thinks,” Heyes replied.
“Is it true?” the Kid demanded. “You're seein' another woman?”
“Well... yes and no,” McCreedy replied.
“You can't have it both ways, Mac. You either are or you ain't. Which is it?” Curry prodded.
“I am seeing a woman, but not in the way you think I am!” Mac protested.
The Kid shook his head. “I don't wanna think about it no matter what the reason is, and now I've got this image in my head. Ah, geeze Mac, don't you know nothin' about women?”
“But it's all perfectly innocent!” McCreedy exclaimed.
“The Kid's right, Mac. A wife don't care what the reason is. If she even suspects her husband is seeing another woman...”
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned,” Curry finished Heyes' comment for him.
“So, what do I do? How do I get her back?” Big Mac pleaded with great urgency in his voice.
“First, we talk about money,” Heyes stated matter-of-factly.
“Money? You haven't done anything successfully yet. I'm not giving you boys a penny!”
“If that's how you feel about it, come on, Kid. Our work's done.”
“Wait!” McCreedy shouted as Heyes and Curry headed toward the door. “You've got to help me!”
“Well, there's a matter of five hundred dollars for delivering that envelope to Armendariz,” Heyes replied, his hand resting on the doorknob.
“Alright, alright!” McCreedy grumbled while reaching into his vest pocket for his wallet. He carefully counted out five hundred dollars that he thrust into the Kid's hand. “Now come back in here and tell me what you've got in mind.”
Heyes let his hand fall from the doorknob and walked slowly back toward the center of the room. “Mac, if you expect us to help you, then you have to be honest with us and tell us about this other woman.”
“I can't tell you; it's a secret!” Big Mac insisted.
“Ain't all affairs a secret?” the Kid arched a brow.
“I'm telling you – it is not an affair!”
“Did you meet up with this woman in public places?” Curry prodded.
“No,” McCreedy confessed. “That would spoil the secret.”
Heyes gave him a considering look. “Have you introduced her to any of your friends?”
“No,” McCreedy answered sheepishly. “But she knows I plan to when the time is right.”
“Do you get close enough to her to sniff her perfume or her hair?” the Kid questioned.
Big Mac remained silent, refusing to answer.
“It's an affair!” Curry declared. “Unless...” His eyes widened. “Mac, do you pay her?”
McCreedy's eyes shifted to look at the Kid, but again he offered no response.
“Oh for cryin' out loud, Mac!” Curry scolded. “That's as much as tellin' Carlotta you'd settle for anyone but her, and after all we done to get the two of you together...” He shook his head. “You've been payin' her in cash, right? You ain't written her no checks?”
Mac cleared his throat. “Well, I...”
“Fixing your indiscretion is going to be costly,” Heyes said with a heavy sigh.
“If you boys had insisted that Armendariz open and read that letter, there wouldn't be any trouble,” Mac reminded them.
“Mac, he refused to open that letter and Carlotta must have told her brother that you were seeing another woman!” Heyes explained as the muscles in his face twitched with frustration. “Because he told us as about the affair as though it had come from the mountain and was written in stone,” he added.
Big Mac's eyes darted from Heyes to Curry, then back to Heyes. “Alright, I'll tell the two of you, but what I say doesn't leave this room. Is that clear? You don't tell Armendariz and you definitely do not tell Carlotta.”
Heyes glanced at the Kid for his agreement. “Deal.” He nodded. “But fixing this is now gonna cost you five thousand dollars.”
“Three thousand and you have a deal,” Mac parried.
“Five thousand or you don't have a deal!” Heyes countered adamantly.
“Fine – five thousand, but only if Carlotta is back here and living in this house as my wife by the end of the month.”
“What's so important about the end of the month?” Curry's brow furrowed.
“If you had insisted that Armendariz open that letter, you would know!” Mac growled. “So, do we have a deal?”
Exchanging a questioning look with the Kid, Heyes nodded. “Deal.”
Very enjoyable episode, loved the banter between Heyes and Curry. Very believable story with Carlotta's anger, her brother's protection and both of their reactions to Big Mac and to Heyes and the Kid. I loved the happy ending, thanks to sharing this excellent episode would have been great fun to watch.